


Frozen Love

by ismellitblue



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, BAMF Coulson, BAMF Loki, BAMF Steve, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Female Loki, Grief, Hurt/Comfort, Jotunn Loki (Marvel), Jotunn | Frost Giant, Loki Does What He Wants, Loki Falls, Loki falls to Earth, Loki falls to Midgard, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Odin's A+ Parenting, PTSD, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Protective Steve Rogers, Reincarnation, fem!Loki
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-11
Updated: 2020-05-13
Packaged: 2020-06-26 15:38:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,009
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19771279
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ismellitblue/pseuds/ismellitblue
Summary: When they find Captain America,he's not alone,he's holding his wife in his arms-it's the saddest thing Phil Coulson has ever seen in his entire life.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe.

> _“No Loki” Just like that he lets go and instead of gravity, something else pulls him under.He falls into the dark, but there is no darkness,how can there be, when there is no light in his new home._
> 
> _There is nothing._
> 
> _And with moments of falling into the nothingness, he too becomes part of it, a muted voice, blind eyes and skin that feels nothing…but there is still something, an anomaly in the in the quiet darkness, a sliver of green, too slippery to pin down and kill,it stops him from fading completely._
> 
> ***
> 
> When the news that Captain America had been found came.Phil had been ecstatic, then he’d learnt that the Captain wasn’t alone, a woman who had a 99.9% chance of being his wife, who’d vanished on the same day the captain was thought to have died was also with him.He’d rushed to the lab the instant the block of ice containing his hero, had been secured and when the lead scientist had told him that Captain America’s heart was still beating, he may or may not have done a victory dance(complete with an air punch).
> 
> Then he’d turned to really look at the two figures in the ice and his joy had quickly flat lined.
> 
> The Captain was curled around a dark-haired woman, her face hidden by his chest and he could see that her long delicate fingers were tightly clutching his suit.
> 
> They’d been aware, he realized numbly, in the final moments they’d been aware…and she’d been scared.Steve Rogers , now that the Phil was actually taking him in instead of letting himself be blinded by hero worship looked- _broken._
> 
> The man had most probably had to hold her as she passed-the serum keeping him alive and aware long enough to watch her fade…and they were going to wake him …and he’d have to bury her.
> 
> “Is there any chance she can be revived?”
> 
> It was wishful thinking, even he knew that much and the way the doctors looked away was answer enough.
> 
> He stayed when they began the thawing process and when they finally reached the bodies he watched as the scientist struggled to tear the two apart without harming lady Rogers,only succeeding after Captain America, even in his unconscious state, was given a heavy duty relaxant that forced his fingers to loosen their hold.
> 
> ***
> 
> The only picture they had of her(one taken on her wedding day) did no justice to her beauty.There’d been a moment when the whole room had just stopped and stared.The ice had preserved her perfectly, all the way from her delicate eyebrows to her flawless skin(even her eyes when opened had shown to still be the emerald green many who’d met her had spoke of).She was too pale, that was a given, but that did absolutely nothing to take away from just how near perfect she’d been.
> 
> Knowing that her husband was in the other room, unaware of everything and probably hoping he’d wake up somewhere they could be together forever, made looking at her more than a little painful.
> 
> The doctors ever practical, wanted to do an autopsy on her immediately.
> 
> “She’s basically been mummified and there are no signs of decay on her, imagine the secrets her body holds-”One particularly zealous doctor (her badge read Dr Jeong) said, but Phil quickly nipped that idea in the bud.
> 
> “Has a relative given permission for procedure”Phil asked in his best diplomat voice.
> 
> “Well, it’s not like there’s anyone to ask,she’s been dead for seventy years, and Captain America is-”
> 
> “Captain America is her _husband_ , her very much _alive_ , _superhuman husband_ ”He cut in before the woman could continue.
> 
> “Will you be the one to tell him why exactly you butchered his wife without even giving him the chance to give his consent, let alone come to terms with the fact that she’s gone”The young woman actually looked surprised at that, like she truly hadn’t considered such a thing and Phil found himself suppressing a shudder.
> 
> Field agents like Clint and Natasha were scary in their own right.But that had absolutely nothing on the naïve cruelty that the scientists at SHIELD often displayed.Their ability to do all forms of atrocious things in the name of science, was one of the main reasons why many of them were hired, but seeing the carefree coldness with which they viewed potential test subjects was always unnerving.
> 
> Though he knew his order to not do an autopsy wouldn’t be disobeyed, he still felt marginally better being part of the team that wheeled Lucy Rogers,to the private morgue.
> 
> ***
> 
> It was a very strange thing, to have a man who looked older than you, sit across from you and tell you that your life had been relegated to pages of history.That your comrades were gone-buried long ago, and that in essence-after 70 years of ice- _you_ were the older man…but having gotten a glimpse of the outside world,Steve Rogers knew without a doubt that the man was telling the truth.
> 
> The man-Coulson-spoke of duty, of honor and of fighting the good fight, but every time Steve asked about his wife, the other man found something else to talk about.
> 
> “She’s gone isn’t she?”It wasn’t a question,he just needed confirmation, the man looked at him blandly-but Steve could make out the hints of sadness in his eyes.
> 
> “Yes sir,for what it’s worth I’m sorry”
> 
> “Take me to her”Back straight,with his head held high he walked beside the agent.Other agents moved out of their way,casting pitying looks his way when they saw where he was headed.Each step towards where his Lucy lay, became harder and harder to take.In his mind, it had only been a few hours ago that he and Lucy had been laughing together.Now strange people were telling him she’d been dead for over half a century.
> 
> Part of him wanted to turn around, to deny their claims.But Lucy deserved better than that, she deserved to have someone recognize who she’d been in life,so he swallowed down the bile clogging his throat and forced himself to move, his tears leaving a trail behind him.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who read, commented, left a kudo or bookmarked this fic.The original intent was just to leave it at chapter 1.But this whole covid-19 situation happened and I have time to flesh it out a bit.Happy reading and thanks again for sticking with the story.  
> I own nothing but the story idea.

_Steve heard the wolf whistles before he actually saw the other boys.Jeers followed soon after, and Steve knew that meant nothing good- but he’d promised Bucky he’d stay out of trouble-which was why he’d come to the park._

_He tried to go back to his sketch, adjusting himself on his tree branch so that he wouldn’t fall, but the jeers had continued and soon enough, a loud yelp followed.Casting a mental apology to Bucky, he put his sketchbook aside, ready to climb off and help whoever was in trouble.The bushes in front of his tree parted and girl crawled out._

_The sound of thundering footsteps became clearer, and it took only a moment for Steve to piece things together, as he watched the girl looking around frantically._

_“Psst…Hey!”Bright green eyes looked up at him, and he waved her over.The girl climbed the tree with more ease than he had, and within seconds she was beside him, and both of them were quietly watching a group of angry young men walk by._

_“ I’m Steve Rogers ma’am, if you don’t mind me asking, why were those fellas chasing you?”_

_“Pleased to meet you Steven, I’m Lucinda Silvers, and , let’s just say people who don’t want t get robbed,shouldn’t count their money in public,”She had an accent, a posh one, Steve was so focused on that, and in the way the light caught in her eyes it took a while for the last part of her statement to sink in._

_“Hey you can’t-”She leapt off the tree before he could finish, giving him one last cheeky wave before dashing off._

_***_

_She was cold,_ Lucy had always ran a bit colder than normal.Even back in Brooklyn,when he’d been nothing more than a scrawny runt, he’d always tried to give her his coat and she’d always insisted they share, laughing at him while cuddling.

But there was none of that now,70 years out of time,and Lucy was still cold,but now-unlike the countless times he’d fixed the problem in the past-Steve couldn’t do anything about it…and it _hurt_.

Coulson had excused himself “I’ll give you some privacy,”But Steve knew he was being watched just as he’d been watched in the fake room they’d put him in,but he was beyond caring.

He gently ran his fingers over her cold hand, trying to memorise her.To remember as much of her as he could, she was his last link to his past life and in a few hours he’d no longer be seeing her anymore.

His eyes burned at the thought,and he forced himself to calm down-scared of damaging her while in a crying fit.His gaze raked over her once again,trying to etch her to memory and he paused, realizing for the first time what he’d been unconsciously looking for.

***

_Her necklace was gone._

He’d won her that necklace at a carnival-his old body wheezing with every breath he took as he aimed ball after ball until he hit the bullseye.It was a cheap gaudy thing, with a huge green stone in the center,but Lucy had loved it more than anything,even when they’d gotten married,she’d insisted on just that necklace, not wanting a ring.

Steve wasn’t even aware that he’d voiced his heartache until the door slid open and a redhead walked in,handing him the necklace silently before disappearing.It proved his theory of constant surveillance, but having the necklace again was more important to him.

He didn’t want to hurt her,foolish as it was,by lifting her stiff neck, so he just placed the necklace below her collar bone, the chains falling on her pillow.The picture wasn’t right, and it never would be,but this was the best he’d get.He reached for her hand, cradling it gently as tears blurred his vision.

_What was he supposed to do?How was he supposed to go on?He’d lost everything, he wasn’t even in his own time anymore-and the person he’d promised his life to was lying in a casket._

Finally letting her hand go,Steve straightened, and with one final look at her,he reached for the casket lid and shut it.Moments after he’d done so,her necklace sparked,letting out a bright green glow, before fastening itself around her neck,and in the darkness of her coffin-Lucinda Rogers nee Silvers,blinked for the first time in decades.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own nothing but the story idea for this fic.Happy reading!

Lucinda Rogers’ funeral broke Phil Coulson’s heart.

It was sad…most funerals were.But that wasn’t what was tearing him apart, it was the sight of Steve Rogers crying.He didn’t make a sound,simply wiping away his endless tears,and taking controlled breaths, some of them getting stuck in his lungs and making his rib cage rattle.

An old man’s cry.

The kind Phil hadn’t seen or heard since his grandfather’s death-and that made it even harder to witness.When the priest finally finished, Fury nodded to the agents by the coffin, and they took their positions,preparing to carry her to the hole that would be both the barrier and the connection between her and Captain America.

That of course was when things had gone shaky…literally.

***

They’d been having tremors ever since the chitauri attack.Though the invasion had fast tracked the formation of the avengers(as well as getting Phil a chance to see Captain America in action,when he’d joined the battlefield to keep the aliens from attacking the helicarrier where his wife was), it had also had a major drawback.

One that had become apparent within hours of the attack.

The giant worms had caused damage that the earth itself was taking a while to heal from.But their scanners hadn’t picked anything up that day,so they’d decided to proceed,

But a quake had come right when they were almost at the grave.And by the time Daisy had calmed it, the damage had already been done.Mrs Rogers’ coffin had fallen from the hands of the pallbearers, and was lying between them-turned upside down.

“Get her up!”It was Fury who recovered first,but by the time all of them were on their feet again, Steve had already turned the coffin over,the action had sprung the lid,and he was just staring into it-unmoving.

She’d been frozen solid,there was no way the impact hadn’t broken her apart.

She was chunks for flesh now…Steve Rogers was now staring at a pile of flesh that used to be his wife’s remains.Oh lord…they were going to have pick up her remains and bury them in a misshapen pile.

_This was…this was so bad._

“Captain,I am so sor-”Coulson’s apology died as soon as he made it to the blond man’s side, and he too could do nothing but stare.A second later Fury joined them,his one eye falling into the same trance as theirs.

When Steve finally spoke, his voice was low and hoarse, gravel mixed with broken glass.

“ _Where is my wife_?”Now Phil could add attending a funeral without the guest of honor to the long list of bizarre things in his world.

“I have no idea,”For once he was glad his denial was an honest answer, whoever was going to face the steel in Captain America’s eyes,was going to regret their entire lives.

***

In an abandoned building on the other side of the city, a woman in a flowy white dress materialized, taking the spot that had recently belonged to some old bricks.

Shaking mercilessy she lay on the ground,pieces of glass and stone digging into her as she cried.Endless moments later she managed to get onto her knees, her necklace dragging as she fought to get her shoulders up.Finally managing to straighten her elbows, bile flowed down her throat, acid eating away at her insides as she threw up.

When the fit ended, she made her way to the nearest window on shaky legs, and looked out at a world she didn’t recognize .Even before seeing the too fast cars,the bright lights and the buildings she didn’t recognize, she’d instantly known she was in a different time, had felt it the moment she’d woken up.It was hard to miss, like winter giving way to spring.

You didn’t intentionally keep track of it, but in the morning when you found flowers growing in a half frozen puddle, you weren’t shocked.

A glint in the corner drew her attention and she gingerly made her way to it, her bare feet overly sensitive.

A lighter.

A silver well made piece,that definitely didn’t belong in the grimy building.

Sitting down in a meditative pose, she twirled the lighter between her hands, suddenly craving a smoke.

“ _Focus_ ,”She breathed,flicking the light on, a blue flame springing to life.Eyes tracking the gentle sway of the fire, Lucinda Rogers finally allowed herself to process.To take in what this strange new world meant.

***

She’d woken up cramped, no room to breathe, no space to move.

 _Away, away from here_ she’d thought, and easy as blinking her prison had fallen away.Then she’d found herself on a tree branch,and down below had been Steven.

Her foolish,brave Steven looking like his heart had been torn out of his chest, wiping tears as an old man sang praises about Lucinda Rogers.A better woman would’ve gone to him then, comforted him.But she’d stayed on the tree, power dancing beneath her veins.

Holding up a hand she’d watched green sparks dance from it.She’d pondered the correct response at realizing she had powers…panic?joy?an uncontrollable need for vengeance?being overwhelmed by the need to help humanity-like Steven?

But she’d done none of the expected things…she’d left.

A kinder more pleasant girl, would’ve gone quietly.Let her love continue believing a lie and move on, but she’d never been that sweet.So she’d called to the tree she was on.

 _Hello, lovely_ she’d whispered.And branches had groaned, leaves chittering exitedly amongst themselves.

 _So long, so long_ they’d sang-testing out their voices- _so long since someone has spoken to us._

 _Dance for me_ , she’d crooned and the old tree, roots stretching wider than the cemetery had moved-taking the earth with it.She’d been gone before her casket hit the ground, not even she was cruel enough to watch a man’s heart break a second time.

***

Coming back to the present, she continued her staring contest with the flame, unnatural green fire mixing in with the blue.

She should’ve been more scared of the new power.But calling it _new_ would’ve been a lie.

It had always been there-she just hadn’t seen it back then.

Back in Brooklyn, it was her hands, swift and light, whether rifling pockets or shuffling cards,the winning hand was always hers.It was her narrow escapes from deals gone south, shadows parting to create room for her, and letting her watch as idiots cursed up a storm,never realizing she was right behind them.

During the war it was bullets raining down on everyone except for her.Her daggers slicing throats faster than triggers could be pulled.Hardened spies telling her their deepest darkest secrets,her silver tongue unmatched.

And in the end,it was watching the ice fast approaching, and when they’d hit, her power had held her together.The ice, cold, merciless, and finally…warm, recognizing her.

There’d been Steven,her magic, and the biting cold-all things that meant home, so she’d let herself sleep.

…but she was awake now, and it was time to make some decisions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Author:Lucy, your husband is over there crying.You can go to him, comfort him and all will be well.  
> Lucy:You're lying aren't you?  
> Author:No,seriously you can just go to him it's that easy, or you can just run away from emotions, and cause both of you unimaginable pain and suffering, but you a a sane person, no way you would...Lucy?Lucy?...oh.

**Author's Note:**

> This has been gathering dust in my pc for over a year,I've finally decided to just post it.Hope you guys enjoy it-feedback would be appreciated.


End file.
